changes

Started the quarterly re-examination of my life again. Every so often, something will happen that will make me wonder if I am going about everything in the right way. Currently I am examining all of my relationships and wondering if what I see as unacceptable behavior is really acceptable, and if it is, have I always been blind to it? I always thought that I was smart enough to see all sides of a situation, but I think that I am just as blind to my own faults as everyone else is to their own. I want to be the best person that I can be, but I always seem to fall short of it because I am not really sure what I am supposed to be. I had a talk last night with a friend. This friend has been really good to me throughout our friendship, but I realized last night that there are limitations to how far they will go for me. I think what bothered me the most is that our converation just hammered home the fact that I just let everyone walk all over me. It as though I expect everyone to treat me like shit. Everytime someone says they feel horrible about something they did to me, I just pretend that it means nothing, and say that I understand where they are coming from, when in reality I don't. Or rather I do, but feel that I would act differently in the same situation. I find myself becoming resentful and angry towards them, but I can't figure out if I should be. There is a large possibility that I am just so self-involved that I can't see that their actions are actually based in reality, and it is me who is being unreasonable. Ugh.