Someone will ask how I am, and I always answer with the same reply "great, and you?" But I really think that my heart is broken. It's tricky though. I still laugh at jokes, give the appropriate answers to questions asked, and look concerned when it matters; when in reality my head and heart are in the past with memories, thoughts and regrets. Since the funeral is over, everyone seems to think that I am fine, and that everything is going to get back to normal, when in fact the opposite is true. Everything is that much harder to deal with, and death seems to be something that I thought I was familar with, but in reality I really wasn't. This is an entirely new experience, and not one that I am enjoying. It is so much easier now to understand the cliches of death...I find myself fighting back tears at the strangest times, feeling disjointed from everything and everyone, pretty much just apathetic towards life. Blah.