changes

After thinking it over for the past couple of days, I realize that I have a lot to be thankful for, although the superstitious part of me is telling me not to write them down because I will then be jinxed and everything that I am thankful for will be ripped out from under my feet. Don't you just love the Catholic guilt? So, I guess I will side-step the fear for a moment and give you a very self centered look into all that I am thankful for.

• My dad. I know that I often complain about him and his extra-curricular activities, but he is and always will be the one person I can always count on, and who will love me no matter how crazy I am. Also he is one of the very few people that I can be my real self around and I never have to worry about him judging me. I keep thinking that it must be hard for him to be around me sometimes when I am so like my mother at times. I have to wonder if he sometimes just stops and sees her when I do something or say something that is similar to something that she would do and thinks about their life together.

• E., JoJo, A. and L. While I have so many great friends whom I love, these three, in each their own way, know me better than anyone else. E. is the person who knows the most about me in the present. Out of anyone, she can gauge my moods and feelings without me saying a word and be right on the money. I know that she even knows the thoughts that I don't voice, and whenever I decide to bring them up, she will know exactly what I am talking about. Even if they are COMPLETELY CRAZY, actually when I think about it, E. is the only person I can confess my truly crazy thoughts too...and she doesn't seem to judge. I am amazed when I stop to think that I fought being friends with her and almost chose someone else, who is such a lesser person in every way, over E. The friendship that E. and I have is one that I hope never ends...I still want to be friends with her when we are eighty-five and spend our days watching endless soap operas (while talking to each other on the phone of course) and taking care of countless cats. JoJo is the friend who knows about my past, and how I came to be the person that I am today. She is pretty much the only person who really knows first hand about my life before coming to the 'Nish. The stories that we can tell when we get together are both hilarious and startling, and I am sure that we both marvel at the fact that we are still alive. Even though we barely see each other that often anymore, whenever we see each other it is just like we haven't been apart at all. She is also the proof that some of the decisions that I have made in my life that a lot of other people may question were the right ones, and I love her for that. A. is my friend that I strive to be the most like. She is easily the most selfless, caring, kind, and giving person I have ever met. I don't think that there is a person on this earth that she wouldn't extend a helping hand to, and at any cost to her. If anyone has the ability to make me into a better person it is A. She is the best keeper of secrets, and would never in a million years say anything to judge any action that I may have undertaken, regardless of how silly or stupid. A. is one in a million, and I am so happy to include her among my most cherished friends. L. is the person who I am the most alike when it comes to really important things as well as the silly little things, and I can tell her some of the things that I would never tell anyone else but her. It is when I am with her that is I see how alike family can be... and can see how certain things just come with certain genes. She is also one of the few people who I can fight with, be furious with, swear to never talk to again, and then be yakking with her on the phone 20 minutes later like nothing has ever happened. When I think of what it would be like to have a sister, I think that the relationship that L. and I have is the closest to that.

• My health. I have never even had the chicken pox before. Tonsillitis is the closest thing to a serious illness that I have ever had. I hate writing about this, because my health is the last thing that I ever want to jinx. Never a broken bone (despite many opportunities) and maybe a cold or two a year. I haven’t even had the flu since I was a kid. My job. I have lucked out on most of the jobs I have had and this one is no exception. While I may not be working directly in my field, and some people (including myself on obscure days) may look down on what I am doing, there really isn’t anything else that I could be doing right now that would offer me the pay that I am getting now coupled with the benefits. And let’s not forget the great group of people that I work with…who knew that there would be 3 other people on this earth that were as judgmental and sarcastic as I am? I am still sitting here thinking about what else I am thankful for and I am sure that there are many, many, many things that I am forgetting. There are so many friends and family that didn’t make this little list who have a huge impact on me and my life and who I am, but let’s be serious, who wants to sit through a diatribe on all the people who have affected my life. I think that even I would find that boring after awhile. But I do think (watch out, preachy KA ahead) that as we sit down to Turkey Day dinner we should stop and think about what we are thankful for, and realize that all the things that we panic and stress about on a daily basis (student loans, money, cars, money and student loans) aren’t so bad. We all have people who we love and who love us. Things could be a whole hell of a lot worse. Is there anything that you are thankful for?

HAPPY THANKSGIVING!