I am feeling so homesick. 95% of it is due to something else entirely, but I just wanna go home and be with my family. Dad called me yesterday morning, and it was the saddest phone call ever. We are essentially strangers now, connected by blood and a former close bond. Our conversation could have easily been interchanged with one that I would have had with an acquaintance, with asinine questions about the weather and work. I got off the phone and just felt so lost. My dad is really my only family. Being an only child, my parents were it for me. I don't have any sisters to complain about how a certain boy is just being retarded, and I don't have any brothers to stand at the door to scare away potential dates. Don't get me wrong, I have a fantastic extended family and group of friends who I love more than I could ever express, but that love is different than that from your parents. Now my Dad is thousands of miles away and I feel like I am just floating along, trying to find where I belong. I have come close to finding it, but even still my oval shaped self doesn't quite fit into their circle shaped family. Almost, but just falling a little short each time.
1 Comment:
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- Anonymous said...
11:25 a.m.I know we have very different families, but I know what you're talking about. I felt like it took a long time for the dust to settle after I left home. For a long time I felt like total strangers from my parents, then, eventually, the relationship reached a new stage. I don't think you should worry about drifting permanently from your Dad, it's natural to drift apart, but you'll drift back, I'm sure.