Maybe it is the season, maybe it is the dreary weather, or even the fact that in a month life as I know it is going to change dramatically, and I am going to be left scrambling to climb up onto the next step of my life. I feel like everything is falling apart. I don't know anything. And everytime I do figure it out, I end up thinking about it some more, and wind up more confused than ever before. I have great friends, but sometimes I am just sick of making an effort, especially when the effort isn't returned. Why is everything so hard? For some reason I am as emotional as a woman who is 6 months pregnant. And it isn't that that I am sad, I am just emotional, very emotional. I was coming into work this morning and a song came on which was really happy and sweet, and I was getting all misty eyed over it: real wise. Maybe the past 24 years of stuffing my feelings down into my small intestine and never dealing with them are finally catching up to me at a rapid pace. Or the past few days of looking inwards to see who I really am, and who I want to be, is playing with my emotions. Fun! Maybe I will get that vacation at the NS Hospital.