Just to set the record straight: I am not a nice girl. So, if you were hoping that this entry was going to a heart warming fable about the joys of humanity and life in general: MOVE ON. For as long as I have been in this office, which is almost a year and a half, there has always been ongoing issues with the cleaning staff. It started off with Mike, who wasn't so bad in retrospect, I would arrive in the morning, and my garbage would be changed, and he wasn't too invasive. Some days he would stop to chat, but most of the time it was just a "Hi Krista"or "Bye Krista" type relationship. No harm there at all. Well, it turns out that Mike wasn't doing his job, and as a result he got fired, apparently he was just hiding in a cupboard upstairs pretending to be cleaning. This unfortunate chain of events brought Joy into my life. She was Mike's vertically challenged replacement, who often used my office as a place of rest while cleaning the building. As I write this I can't remember what Joy and I used to talk about, most likely because the conversations were so dull that my brain couldn't retain them. She asked me every day what my name was, and even when I corrected her, she still called me Krissy. As a new school year was beginning, it was discovered that we were to get a new janitor!! My joy was tangible, and I couldn't wait for this new person that would give me peace from being Fake Nice everyday and listening to stories of backed up toilets and clogged drains. And the new person was Laurie. Ah Laurie. Where do I begin? When I first met Laurie, I was bubbling with excitement because she appeared normal: she just came in changed my garbage and then left! No painful stories or fake nice-ness!! Who knew that normality could be so fleeting? Soon a new Laurie was coming into my office and subjecting me to horrid stories of her mammogram experience, how she won at Bingo last night, what "her man" is up to. Is this what small talk is? Listening to someone yammer on about a topic that totally disinterest you while pretending that you think what they have to say is interesting? It probably wouldn't be so bad if she would let me get a word in edgewise....instead I just sit there and smile and nod as she recounts everything that has happened to her in her life. I think that I know more details of her life than I do of most of my friends! Apparently, the latest scandal is that her man Carl's son and daughter-in-law are coming for a visit from a neighboring province. But they don't have the money to come, but since Laurie invited them (which Carl said she did, but she says she didn't) they felt that they had to come. Carl is none too impressed. Last week, I found out that she has a staff party on the 10th of December AND the 17th of December. She is going to both of them. But she has nothing to wear....she wants to know if she should wear her birthday suit! She also wanted to know if I thought her wearing her birthday suit to a wedding in September would be acceptable as well. Last night, she had to set her clock radio 3 times!! 3 time she had to get up on the stool and set the clock! 3 separate times! ARGHH! STOP THE MADNESS! Lately I have taken to shutting my door when I know she is around, just to preserve what little is left of my sanity. I am sorry to report that even this lowly tactic isn't working. Not even having someone phone me while she is here is enough to stop her incessant speaking. Is this some kind of karmic punishment?? I will repent, if she will just go away. Please make her go away.